All I've ever wanted...
All I've ever wanted was to love, and to be loved. I've met lots of different women, from all walks of life, and not one single one of them had the slightest clue what a man is, or had the first clue what to do with one. When I was young, girls would get with me when they thought I was cute, or when they thought I was cool and hung with the in-crowd, or because I was a bass player in a band, or when they thought I looked like someone famous, or when they knew I had weed (I haven't smoked in 15-years), or when they thought I was going to make bank, then when I actually did make bank, and later there was one that when the tattooed-drug-using-loser-father-of-her-child bailed, she thought I was going to fill in as her father figure that helped with cash... Two of the strangest experiences I've ever had were, first, when I was a bass player back home, and there was this unbelievably cute brunette girl whom I noticed a few weeks in a row, and one night out of the clear blue sky she took me home and fucked my brains out, and I never even got her name. As gorgeous as that girl was, and as bad as I wished I could wake up next to someone that beautiful every day, I thought she was out of her mind... The second was when an emotionally stunted red-haired blue-eyed 21-yr old girl from Tucson was on her knees sucking on my dick in my shower when I was 42-yrs old; because she had herself convinced I was going to buy her a BMW. I remember looking down at her thinking that I had thought I'd already seen everything there was to see! After searching for so long for an emotionally evolved, rational, intelligent woman that could be a true equal life partner, here was a girl sucking my dick because she thought she was going to get a car! I heard she married a Senior Relationship Administrator (financial advisor) at Vanguard... There are other stories, but while the details are different, the sentiment is the same. Obviously, none of them had what I was looking for on the inside, nor did any of them ever look into my soul. Paradoxiy, neither did any of them stop to look into their own soul, but rather seemed intent on doing everything possible to avoid that. And, not just the women I've dated, but friends, colleagues, associates, acquaintances -- There ARE a few women out there with the qualities I value, but there sure aren't enough of them. I am not saying there aren't lots of dirt men out there -- but no one is forcing you to throw yourself at them, bring a kid(s) into the world with them, or marry them. Nevertheless, not one single one stopped to contemplate who I am in my heart, who I wanted to be as a person, or who I wanted to be as a father and as a partner. All I ever wanted to do was be good, and do the right thing, and find a woman that respected herself and that appreciated who I am, in my heart. I could have achieved anything. Now I read posts by idiots that think they are women because they have sweet housewives ready nsa divorced mothers tits and a slit, and dress like sluts (or try to if they can get the clothes to fit), crying they want a good man and there are no good ones left out there, yet they don't have anything any true good man wants, and they all hurl their vaginas at the worst possible idiot loser they can find, telling themselves he will morph into prince charming once he realizes how wonderful she is, or when she pops a kid out he will suddenly turn in to the daddy she never had, and he will never tell her when she is acting like an asshole because it might make her cry -- and then she cries like an infant when her infantile plans explode in her face. Fucking morons.