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so horrible like, molestation or you know, just one of those things. I guess I look at this things differently now, I'm a 'been cheated on' guy. I've been hurt, had the wife who did the big one, who hid it and never planned on me finding out. Who had to feel the sting of it and deal with the consequences. This would NEVER happen to me. It's been 10 yrs I'm alright with it. Am I saying I think cheating isn't that big of a deal oh HELL NO. It's huge, it hurts. Like a kidney stone or birth you can't explain. And it impacted everyone within the family, it was sad and in some ways still is. My in-laws and I are great friends but it's not the same. I'm odd out, as it should be. We talk, we send cards and there are visits, but xmas is with the new hubby. Yeah, shit people do, they can sure hurt, they can be selfish. But this is the same woman who treated you kindly, she's NOT one or the other..she's BOTH. Not perfect a human being with HUGE flaws. She was never anything but kind to you for decades. Time to be an adult, talk to her. Talk to her WITH that behind you, the kindness, the mothering, the importance she has in your life .why not? You avoid her now what's to lose? That avoidance becomes permanent? You already have no relationship what the fuck are you waiting for? For her to '- the light'? That's not your place. That's YOUR light you want her to talk about selfish. the world through MY eyes, with MY values, MY morals. YOU are wrong. Yeah, took a lot of deep reflection to get on the same plain as the woman who cheated on me after all I've never done THAT. but I'm human, guess I've fucked up a lot in my life. I don't deserve some honor for not pulling the big one and I sure as fuck can't judge those who have. Who am I to know what they felt? What they went through? Because you were kind to ME I acknowledge you me. I not agree with your choices, but I you. Thank you, here's my mailing address. I know that I have missed you. What ever the truth is, speak it. Let the dice roll knowing YOU let it out for her to.

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want to grab a quick drink or 2 at chapter house... like right now My work is running and kind of bored. I'm a little caught up in the hunger games series right now. Plus, I'm craving some beer and popcorn. If you like hockey, they'll likely have the playoffs on. Just figure I'd see if anyone wants to go, have a nice conversation with strangers, and that is all. I'm a CU grad student in engineering. That should suffice. Easy on the eyes as well.

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