,
, I'm sorry I let you get away. I've thought of you on and off for the last 30 years and even now, I still come to the conclusion that you were the one. You were the nicest guy, the sweetest, kindest boyfriend and I was lucky to have you, even if for a short time. We met by chance, although I had secretly watched you from my for weeks. I would walk by the house you were working at just so I could see you, but dare not say a word to you because I was so shy and . You were so incredibly handsome, so beautiful to look at. You said hi to me once and I responded in kind. When I got inside my house I was so excited you had said hello to me. I was just 20 years old. I didn't see you again after that day and regretted not saying more to you but my shyness wouldn't allow it. Then by chance I met you again farther down Higuera, hanging with a friend. By then I had turned 21 and was out celebrating my roommates 21st birthday. I hopped out of the limo and jumped over to you and struck up a conversation. I had lost my shyness because I had a few drinks. I told you that I had watched you from the and you were flattered and intrigued. You came home with me that night and I fell in love with you. You asked me out again and we became . You fell in love too. I ruined all of it by being insecure and doubting my self worth. I let bad habits get the best of me and lost you. Not for long though because you kept in contact with me even when I moved back to L.A. You came for a visit and it was magical, you bought me flowers (!) and we had an amazing weekend. And then you had to leave. I still felt insecure and wasn't mature enough to see you were the one for me. I ruined it again. I tired hard to get it back but couldn't. Life went on and I still thought of you. . .the way you smiled, your beautiful blue eyes, your , your awesome sense of humor, you amazing way of showing up when I needed you, like the day Laurie's car broke down on the 1 and you happened to be driving by in your truck, on your way to some great surf up north. I couldn't believe it, I was just talking housewives wants real sex Ferndale about you and you drove by, saw us, turned around and came to our rescue. I'll never forget that day. Or the night we hung out at the lake and laughed and songs and had so much fun. I still have pictures of that. I even remember the night we went swimming in 's pool and I fell in love again. . . I will never forgive myself for letting you go. . . I ed you once New Years , tipsy from the champagne and you told me you were married. . . I was. . .devastated. I've never found anyone since then that compared to you in any way. . . and now after your marriage ended, you are in a relationship again and I am still alone. . . all these years I never married. . .. I guess I was hoping you'd reach out to me and we'd fall in love all over again. . .. Silly nave girl that I am. . . Just wanted to say I'm sorry and wish I had been a better person back then, a stronger, wiser, confident and self assured person. . . instead of the weak, insecure girl. She is a very lucky girl and I'm sure she knows it. I hope you are happy. . . Still, I wish you would try to find me so I could tell you. . . as crazy as it sounds. . . K
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