DROP THAT ZERO and get with the hero
I’m a lbs (back off…just a little bit of a belly… NOT a John Candy). I’m bald…meaning… I shave my head...but if I didn’t shave my head, I’d be silly bald. I have almond shaped dark eyes…full lips and nice teeth.
These things are good:
The B-52’s WHAMMY, Gary Numan’s TELEKON, Tim Eric Awesome Show Great Job, Coke Zero, flea markets, ColecoVision, George Carlin, old Andy Kaufman performances, long –lost crappy drive-in movies on DVD, the films of John Waters, David Lynch, Lucio Fulci Giuseppe Andrews, Thai food, Converse Chuck Taylors, Labatt Blue, WEEN, Butthole Surfers, The Residents, females with tattoos and glasses, cooking dinner for my friends, having a little me time to lay on the couch and play some PS3, random road trips, thrift stores, the Autumn season…and the sun shining on my face.
These things are a drag:
Adults with braces on their teeth, fake tans, people with Bluetooth devices sticking out of their ears, cigarette smoke, drug addicts, liars, high maintenance ladies, really pointy shoes, Crocs, malnourished “emo” people in skinny jeans and greasy hair hanging in their face, politics, religion, reality tv, 99% of Hollywood movies, Middle Eastern music, body odor, hipsters, the music of John Mayer, people who still quote Austin Powers movies, people who give their pets too much attention, anything on VH-1 or MTV, chain restaurants, people who say “I can’t live without my Starbucks”, cameltoe, the smell of patchouli oil….and the sun shining on my face
Please be the realio dealio!