Married lady searching friendship

If men wrote M4W ads like women wrote W4M ads m4w Isnt it funny how most w4m ads are like checklists of requirements? These women think finding a guy is like ordering a sandwich a little more height please, easy on the love of sports, and can you throw in a weekend house in the mountains and a willingness to support some other guys?
If men wrote their m4w ads the same way, we would expect to see something like this:
Looking to meet the woman of my dreams. Someone who appreciates me for who I am. I love big TVs, big trucks, baseball caps, and wife-beater tanks. I love going out with my friends to get drunk at strip clubs too. Im looking for a nice woman who is not looking to jump into a relationship too soon but who knows what it means to be sexy and take care of her partner. Please no BBWs (sorry) but you wont look good on my arm when I wear a white t-shirt.
You must love dogs and my beer can collection, my dogs, my cans, and I are a package, so if youre not housewives wants real sex Fort Myers Shores into them then please move on. I like to let all 6 of my dogs sleep in my bed with me, so hopefully you dont have a problem with that.
Deal breakers:
likes to shop too much
obsessed with height
fat
talks about yourself too much
neediness
always wanting to talk about the relationship
small breasts (sorry, there is nothing sexier than grabbing onto a nice pair)
doesnt like to cook for her man
bossiness
nagging
always wanting to get up early in the morning
fat
intolerance of me and my habits
pressure to have

Turn ons:
thin
large breasts (very sexy)
quiet
beer drinker
has her own friends and wont try to make me watch chick flicks
smells good
likes football
doesnt expect me to pay all the time
intelligent but not too intelligent
thin

Can you find me a woman like that? LOL